There is a fine line between passion and harassment
Author/ Sunny Hsu
While most of us are aware of the cultural differences between varied parts of the world, we may sometimes find ourselves in circumstances where we have difficulty accepting certain behaviors, so how do we handle such scenarios? Today, I would share some of my personal experiences coping with such situations during the universiade and you could also think of what you would do if you were in my shoes.
One day, some athletes and I were leaving Tamsui and were on our way back to the athletes’ village. When I decided to get some bottled water for everyone while waiting for the shuttle bus at Linkou MRT Station. One of the male players, Dahal, came with me, saying nothing while he helped me to distribute the bottles to everyone. After we got onto the bus, Dahal called for me and for no reason at all, started showing me pictures of his picture where he lived before asking me this. “If you are available, could you show me around? I want to know more about Taiwan.” At this point, I felt instinctively that something was off, so I suggested.
“OK. Please ask the others for a time and place. I would try my best to arrange it.” Then I quickly invented an excuse to leave him behind.
After we arrived at the athletes’ village, another boy suddenly pulled me aside to ask me what Dahal had said. I told him our previous exchange and asked if I had misread the situation. The boy gave a sly grin, and asked me instead,” What's your impression of me? ” I frowned. “You are a nice guy.” He then removed his ring and asked playfully, “Then could you accept this ring?” I was totally stunned by his action. “Thank you, but. I couldn’t accept this, it’s too expensive. Thanks anyway.” Fortunately, somebody had called for me at this point in time for some help and I could escape the awkward moment. Phew, what a relief!
After a couple of days, I went to the athletes’ village again to help with the competition results and programs. While the original meeting went smoothly, I left out some information that I had to share with Dhungel and had to turn back to his room, which is where I found myself in a rather tricky situation. On hindsight, I should really improve my situation awareness.
I knocked on his door and he opened it. ”Sunny, what’s up?”
“I forgot to tell you that you need to distribute the stickers to everyone as they need it to get into the closing ceremony.” Having given the instruction. I was about to turn back, when he called me back. “Hey, I have something for you, come in.” I was naive enough to oblige. I went into the room, and he gave me a shirt from Nepal. “This is for you. I am grateful for your help.” I showed my appreciation for his polite gesture, and we continued to chat for a while.
Suddenly, he said, “Really, thank you. Would you mind giving me a hug?” While I was filled with dread and discomfort, I could not muster up my courage to refuse him. To my surprise, however, he then leaned over me and raised me in his arms, before planting kisses on my cheek. I almost went insane in that instant, a plastic smile was frozen on my face.
Finally, I sighed slightly and said, “Please do not do this again, especially to the girls. They are not like me, who could excuse your behavior, though I do not understand or like it. Thank you for your gift. I need to go, it’s time to show the players around, bye.” I left with a heavy heart.
Every one of us may have a unique interpretation of a certain behavior, tradition or habit from a new, different culture because of our own understanding of such situations, stemming from our global knowledge and cultural backgrounds. Without adequate sensitivity and communication, this discrepancy in understanding can often lead to uncomfortable encounters and even a breakdown of intercultural diplomacy and potential friendships.
While we should not judge what we are unfamiliar with, it is also important to protect yourself from what makes you feel uncomfortable, especially in situations involving physical intimacy. Do not hesitate to voice out discomfort, reject participation, or ask questions about actions that you are uncertain about. Ultimately, an active exchange of knowledge can help one another better understand and appreciate cultures and traditions from other parts of the world.
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